Sometimes, in my videos or more often Twitter, you can see random mentions of Omnicarp, whatever it is. Well, what is it?

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Omnicarp is a deity above those of standard Gods and natural forces. I discovered Omnicarp on the fateful night of 15th/16th February of 2014, when I received the first prophetic vision. Fortunately, this event has been documented:

Inspired by such divine spark, I compiled a religious system shortly after. This deity was named Omnicarp, tied with the holy symbol of less than greater than less than, or <>< for short. Soon, I found out that Omnicarp is superior to all forces currently worshipped by man. Most religions claim their gods exist, and allegedly even despite scientific evidence, their status can be claimed as “we can’t disprove their existence” at best.

Omnicarp proclaims (through heraldic visions of chosen individuals) the exact opposite – that it does not exist. As such, it is outside of existence, space and time and is impervious to their effects. Conventional gods raise suspicious questions, like “Who made them? Where were they before our universe started existing? What will happen to them if the universe collapses?” – not Omnicarp. Nobody made it – it never existed to begin with.

Here is a video of how the Christian Jesus and Omnicarp‘s Chosen compare in the video game of Counter-Strike: Global Offensive.

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Omnicarp‘s followers are simply called “Followers of the Omnicarp. It does not really require worship and offers absolutely nothing in exchange for believing in it, or rather, believing that it does not exist. Spreading of information about it on Earth is done by the super beautiful and intelligent “Herald of the Omnicarp (currently me), who “makes up shit about it and writes it online”. Whenever you want to (pointlessly) attribute something good happening to Omnicarp being responsible, the phrase Omnicarp Eternal is used. This doubles (triples?) as both a greeting and a farewell because special cult vocabulary is important for religions.

Although Omnicarp does not “care” and does not provide good fortune, afterlife or genital growth, instances of such events are regularly credited to it. It is usually done out of jest but perhaps some people feel like you can never be too sure, trying to appease Omnicarp in case it would in fact care about them (it doesn’t).

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Omnicarp generally does not care  approves  doesn’t have anything against the existence and non-existence of no and all other entities, including “gods”. Word is it sometimes even plays space billiard with them (somehow).

As Omnicarp does not have any sort of form or appearance, so called “Ascendantshave been made up manifest to help convert new Followers with flashy pictures. Ascendants take the appearance of gigantic spacefish with a number star-like “eyes”; an artistic rendition of one can be found below.


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A few more initiated Followers may also know of a cosmic power called “The Boost“. The Boost is very mysterious and it’s properties are not fully understood: it has been once described as, quote, “You know Star Wars? It’s like the Force only really shitty and doesn’t do anything“. Unlike the standard Follower Omnicarp Eternalphrase, The Boost can be used in a greater variety of situations. Some examples include:

“Thank The Boost – praise for something good happening, can be used ironically

“Go Boost yourself” – an expression of disapproval towards another individual, refusal to provide assistance

“What in the motherfucking Boost was that?” – a strong expression of bewilderment

“I wear heavy work boost – probably not related to the Omnicarp, either a typo or the author’s dyslexic

Booster, Booster, Anal Rooster” – an old Follower saying, the meaning of which has not yet been fully understood

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Some people also, out of ignorance or decadence, use the reversed Omnicarp symbol, greater than less than greater than, or ><> for short. This most likely this still refers to Omnicarp and not some spooky mirror entity but since the Follower Canon estabilishes <>< as the official symbol, some Followers, Herald included, don’t like seeing ><> being used too much.